7 Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me
There are some life lessons that come to us a little later in life. And when we learn them, we look back and think, “Oh how I wish I knew this then, it would have been so much easier!” Here are some we think are especially pertinent lessons that are worth knowing.
1) Pretty is not a personality trait
You could spend your whole life, not to mention thousands of dollars, trying to look as pretty as the people in magazines. Or you could shrivel up inside in the midst of gorgeous women, and secretly wished you looked like them. The good news is: Absolutely no need! What matters more is who you are on the inside. Think about it: your friends and family adore you for your personality, not how you look. So believe in yourself. Besides, beauty fades; a good heart never will. And what’s most sexy? Self-confidence!
2) You define YOU
There may be people in your life that will use some negative adjectives to describe you. Fat, ugly, lazy, slow, whatever. But you know what? Nobody can tell you who or what you are, or even what you’re “supposed” to be. You get to decide what kind of person you want to be, what makes you ‘YOU’, and in a way, how you want to be remembered when you’re gone (or what you want them to say about you at your funeral!). Everything you say and do will shape who you are, so it’s a big responsibility, but at least, you’re the one in charge of you! Don’t let them get you down. You just do ‘YOU’.
3) Learn to say “No”
As women, we’re usually big on being loving and caring, and often times, we tend to put everyone else’s needs first, and ours last. That can sometimes lead to frustration, exhaustion, burnout, and even depression. Sometimes, we just have to know when to say “No, I’m sorry, but I need some timeout for myself.” Even a little time to take a walk, soak in the tub, have dessert with a friend - or go shopping! – can make a huge difference in how you feel. Make sure you take care of yourself, and then you’ll feel empowered to take care of everybody else. Sometimes, you just have make you a priority.
4) Standing up for yourself is hard but necessary
Fact: People will treat you the way that you allow yourself to be treated. And if you decide to be a doormat, you can be sure you’ll be trodden upon. So dare to speak your mind, share your opinions, pick a side in a debate. Learn what floats your boat – and what doesn’t. It’s all about self-respect! So don’t put up with less than what you think you deserve. And this doesn’t just apply to strangers you meet, but also colleagues, friends, family, even your partner. It might be hard to confront them, but issues that need to be discussed call for a good old HTHT. (That’s heart-to-heart talk!)
5) It’s okay for some friends to come and go
It happens all the time, we have a falling out with a friend and we’re totally devastated. Now, if only mama told ya that it’s natural for some people to walk in and out of your life, wouldn’t you have felt so much better? Truth is, you gravitate towards certain people because you have common interests, or you’re in the same phase of life, or you make a good support system for each other. But along this journey of life, just as your situation changes, so do the people you can relate to. What’s most important is to cherish the friends that matter. To make the best of all friendships, always appreciate them, savour the moments, remember the lessons, and keep to heart all the wonderful memories.
6) You’ll have to kiss a lot of frogs
Boys. Mothers never seem to talk about boys, except for, “NO DATING!!” Well, the fact of the matter is, we all choose our partners based on the sum of our life experiences, and sometimes the first few don’t work out. Why? Because you’re still learning who you are, what you want in a guy, and what is absolutely unacceptable and non-negotiable in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And that’s completely normal! Because you don’t want to settle and then regret years later. So take your time, love will find you when you (and him!) are ready.
7) Health is more important than you think right now
Don’t wait till you’ve fallen ill to realize how important health is. It’s certainly wise to listen to what mum had nagged a lot about this – drink lots of water, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and eat good nourishing foods. One thing mum may not have taught, however, is how to care for vaginal health! Sure, she might have touched a little on periods and what goes where, but she may have left out other super important stuff, leaving you wondering half the time if that odour or itch is normal, clueless about what the pH level of your vagina should be, or what type of intimate wash you should be using. Well, no worries Mummy dearest, we’ve got your girl covered right here.
It’s never too late to learn some of these lessons and make a change in our lives towards greater happiness and good mental, physical and emotional health! And never mind if your mother never taught you these things – you can make sure you share them with your little ones in the future. ;)